The light is indescribable tonight ,
Ephemeral, so sharp and mystical
Like some enchanted, distant fairy land
Which eyes of men have never danced upon.
And was it you who kissed me as I slept
Beneath the aspen trees and diamond stars?
I thought it was, but could have been the wind
That brushed against my cheek so subtly,
With such perfection that I wonder now
If ever I will feel that chill again.
I cannot say I’ll ever look inside
That mind of yours to see the games it plays,
The love it feels, illusion it puts on
Or what you’re really thinking through the day.
Is it a shame, that you I’ll never know
With utter and complete sincerity?
The mask you wear is lovely, my dear girl
Although what lies beneath it, covered up,
Cut off from all exposure to the world,
And full of hate, and fear, and lust, and love
Perplexes me, and causes me to toss
And turn about when lying in my bed,
To sweat and shake with evil, twisting knots
Inside my gut that ache and will not go.
So where am I to go, and what to do?
Because in honesty, there’s not a thing
That outwardly would seem a cunning ploy
Aimed at deceiving me. So I’ll just stay
And let the ceaseless chatter of my mind
Continue torturing me, and you won’t know
No, you won’t ever know
The way it feels to be
Helpless against the flow
Of your cold destiny.
And every word
And little phrase
That I have heard
These past few days
Has lacked that passion you once had
As if my love were just a fad
That faded like an autumn leaf
And died under the snow of grief
And now your springtime’s come, with new
And budding blossoms coming through
Reminding you of how it feels to be
Alive and free, when you’re not next to me.
I feel as if it’s all just one big test;
I love to live, but cannot stand the rest.
